Sunday, 24 August 2008

it IS a kind of mAgIC*


It IS a kind of magic*

* he calls me 'mamma'
* he sleeps from 8pm to 7 am
* he has learn so many new things in just two days
* he laughs all the time (mostly :-)
* he let's me understand when he does not want something...with a BIG yell!
* he giggles when we play
* he is such an easy baby...

it's magic. it feels as if we've been each other's lives all our live.

it's pure magic xx

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

it's a kind of magic*

My beautiful friends, 

I planned to write a long and in detail post about how much each of your friendships mean to me...but just finished cleaning the house before we leave tomorrow for Cape Town. 

And got VERY exciting news tonite. Just heard that we can take Kellen home with us on Friday!!!! (freaking out!) 

We thought...in our minds....taking day for day...trusting the process.....:-) I fly out tomorrow, arrive in cpt on friday, go visit with Kellen every second day, and in two weeks we can bring him home with us. 

It was all still very unreal/surreal for us. Then tonite they phoned us and said to make preparations to bring him home with us on Friday.  I freaked out in a good way! 

Thank you for sitting with me, feeling, sharing, comforting, with me through this year. 

Your friendship mean made me feel valued and special. 

I treasure each one of you. 

Please keep contact, as I'll still try to post some photos, but having not been a mom yet, I do not know what this journey is going to be like! (being a teacher you think you know...) but I know nothing...just how to love!!! (which is pretty great!) 

I love you and thank you from the bottom of my heart! xx

Saturday, 16 August 2008

there are no accidents*

kungfupandapic6.jpg

Do you feel the magic all around you? 

Isn't it funny how things happen in our life? 
How you wonder why this and that? 
And not that and this? 
How many times don't we ask WHY? 
Why not? 
But WHEN!? 

Just before the magical phone call from my friend, I received an email from a very dear friend. At the end of his email he said : "watch this movie and listen for the part "there are no accidents".

This past few weeks there has been many questions in my mind about all that is happening now, but watching this GREAT movie changed my questions into answers: 

1. there are no accidents = every thing happen for a specific reason in my life
2. B.E.L.I.E.V.E (listen for this...the best part for me in the movie)
3. I know the secret ingredient....do you? 
4. There are no secret ingredient = YOU are that secret ingredient

The whole movie is about protecting the scroll, in which the secret message is for the warrior. Eventually when Panda receive the scroll, he opens it up and it is empty.  All he can see in the scroll is his own reflection...on which his master tells him there are no secret message - you are it! 

It's all about self-love. Loving yourself with an open heart...

I'm reading 'women who run with the wolves' by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. 
"It means meeting one's own numinosity without fleeing, actively living with the wild nature in one's own way.  It means to be able to learn, to be able to stand what we know. It means to stand and live". 

"To take the world into one's arms and to act toward it in a soul-filled and soul-strengthening manner is a powerful act of wildish spirit." 

As there are 'no accidents' , I believe...words come to me on exactly the right moment...it confirms what I have been thinking about, something feeling and that just settles it, which make living in this moment so much more! 

I don't know what I'm trying to say...there is a million things going on at this minute, of which LIVING in the moment is most probably the biggest, as is the adoption and all the uncertainty of what must still happen, what can still happen, of dreams coming true, of hearts opening up and for others closing, for new adventures and new dreams... 

What brings me back to this moment? 
'There are no accidents"
B.E.L.I.E.V.E.
I(we)  are the secret ingredient/s

I'm just thinking...it is all about how you feel about yourself? I want to finish with this beautiful poem...which always brings me right back into this moment of truth. 

The time will come
when, with elation, 
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror, 
and each will smile at the other's welcome

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was yourself.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has love you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes, 
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life. 
- Derek Walcott - 


Saturday, 9 August 2008

what do you see*

i wonder sometimes
what do we see?

what do we choose to see?

do we only see that
which is right in front of us?

or do we see
way beyond what we
are suppose to see?

should we see
or even think
into the future?

i believe in dreams.

i believe in dreaming...
and imagining...
i believe in coloring your dream
bright and beautiful!

i believe in God.
i believe that He knows and plans.
i trust.
in Him.
in the process.

just sometimes
i wish
i could see
into the future.

today,
i see tomorrow
i see dreams
coming true
or being shattered.

today,
i count
35 days.

what do you see?




Monday, 4 August 2008

magestical*

We are having the time of our lives!

There is only one word to describe Canada....M A G E S T I C A L ! ! !

What do you think of when you think HOLIDAY!?
Sleep...
Eat....
Chat...
Laugh....
Pamper...
Hug....
Sleep....
Swim...
Appreciate...
LOVE! xx


My mom and I pampering ourselves...yummie!
My 'Big Dad' & I

M3 & I taken tonight...

I've realised again that I'm happiest when I'm surrounded by my family! With them I can be whoever I want to be, be in whatever mood I want to be, can tease them, and laugh with and at them, can cuddle with them, just sit with them, appreciate life and health with them..and smile at them... I love them all so much! My heart is overflowing!
On a sidenote....41 days....it feels as if my heart is bursting with joy and anticipation...with love for this little boy that I have only seen twice...it feels as if he is pulling the strings of my heart...every day... I told me mom today it will be a great feeling to go into a shop to look at baby things...and not to think for which friend's child can i buy something...but to know (in 41 days) that we can buy something for OUR little boy...we are so excited....but cautios....
TRUSTING THE PROCESS xx