inspired by Ali*

We've been going for walks...everywhere!


getting to know Mr. Rabbit a bit more personal

admiring beauty all around us

Being brave...

Untangeling this new life we have...

loving every single minute!

Hanging around ...

We (I)'ve been trying to be creative :-)

getting to know this little man,

be brave! be wild!

trying to be who I was and who I'm now...

trying to be free (in all aspects) all at once...

Realising one baby step at a time...

remembering to look down and enjoy that

one little step!

You are invited to join here...

lucky lady*

Life's been weird. Normal.

Exciting. Scary. Unreal. Real. Warm. Cold. Certain. Uncertain. Normal.

I've been somewhere, back to where I was, got intertwined by the past and the present?

No, got intertwined by my needs of the past and the past. Got lost between who I was when we left, who I wanted to be and in the process forgot who I am.

So here I am. Back to normality. Breathing easy. Feeling very greatful for:

1. health

2. M3

3. a dirty little face

4. inspiring beauties

5. awareness

6. sunshine!

I've missed blogging, reading about your day/life and being back makes me feel:

....loved! Connected! Understood! Inspired! Excited! Soft! Happy!

I miss you.

I want to end off with a text a friend sent me one day while we were packing our furniture to go into storage...

'just keep repeating: i'm one lucky lady'!

I am indeed one lucky lady! xx

dreams*

I got up this morning

with tears behind my eyes

an overwhelming feeling

of loss in my throat.

Yesterday

I read about the grit on

one's journey to your dreams -

I guess it reminded me of mine.

for 10 years

I had a dream.

I nurtured it

colored it in brightly

stayed up hours imagining it

talked about it

wrote about it

made plans

prayed for it to come true.

for 10 years

everything in me

wanted this dream.

Then,

6 years ago

it happened.

i opened my own business.

i remember being so scared.

when i got the first phone call

i felt 14 years old, back in highschool again,

but

we pushed through

i worked 18 hour days

today

it is a striving business

with fabulous staff.

when we moved to the UK ,

I became a silent partner.

no contact.

no information.

no phone calls.

had no input.

i tried to stay 'connected', but my partner closed herself and the school to me.

i had to let go....

being back in SA with 'my dream' just around the corner,

dashing in and out, remembering all the hard work,

the friendships,

the 'connections'

the dream being reached

is hard.

it breaks my heart.

today

i want to cry

of things achieved and lost

of things that i have to let go of

to move on

i want to cry

not of failure,

but for

lost friendships

for

wanting to hold on

knowing it's time to

let go.

'i thought i could change

while everything else stayed the same.

i thought things and people

would someone magically change with me

but that does not make any sense,

now that i see things more clearly.'

It's time. xx

angels*

Lin... you're not using all of your angels.
What's up with that?
Use all of your angels. Run faster, jump higher, get more.
Call, ask, give thanks -
The Universe

yes, what's up with that?! xx

perfect timing*

Being spiritual means a good many things, Lin, and most of them are misunderstood by a good many people. So to clarify, here's how I see "it" and you:
Being spiritual means seeing yourself as divine, not just of the divine; a creator, not just the created. You needn't be saved, forgiven, or fixed. You've already changed the world, added to its brilliance, and done enough. You're there because in some long forgotten time, you already earned your wings.
Of course, there are still challenges. You wanted it this way. It's part of your nature and they'll serve to make you even greater. In spite of these, you are still a winner, you are among the relative few who have been so bold, and today is part of your victory lap.
Amen.
From a long time fan -
The Universe

When you enter any new stage in your life, whether it is a new job, partner, becoming a parent, you think what and how you must change, firstly to suite all the other people around your's view about yourself and your job, and then you wonder if that is what you really need to do.

Do I really need to change to please other people's opinions of who I should be?

This past weekend we visit family for the first time with our little boy...and the expectations of what and how and who you should be and should not were overwhelming! I told M3 that I'm so scared to 'make a mistake' and being slapped on the wrist by the family. They all have their opinions of how and what you should be, but in the end, only YOUR opinion about yourself matters.

Reading this note from the universe this morning, confirmed what I already know. I realised this past week, entering motherhood and wanting to be the best mother, knowing that being ME is the best mother I can be, I realised that this journey is part of self-love. Of loving all of me, whether other people agree or not. Loving the choices I make for him/us, knowing that that choice is the best for us.

The people does not matter.

It matters that YOU love the choices you make and more importantly, you love the life you have!

just love yourself - it's so much easier! xx

Update: Kellen loves his pappa. Friday evening when I put him to bed, he was playing and poking at my eyes, and dancing and cuddling and doing everything except sleeping. When I decided now it is really time and put him down, he started screaming. M3 walked in, said 'son, it is time for bed'. In the moment that the door opened and M3 spoke, he was laying down with the blanket over his face, acting as if he is sleeping. It was so funny. He is so funny. Tomorrow is M3's first birtday as a daddy...he is so excited!

He still sleeps through the night...from 8pm until 7...but this morning until 8! Blessing! :-)

Kellen only kisses me on my cheek when I act as if I sleep...he will stand in front of me, calls 'mamma' and if I don't respond, he will bend forward and kiss me :-) swoon! xx