Sunday, 21 June 2009

every day is 'father's day' here*

What is a daddy? 
What does daddy's do? 
Why do we have a daddy? 
Do they love us? 
Why? 


This photo was taken right after Kellen was signed over to us in court. We went to the flat to have some 'Kentucky'.  When we walked in, Kellen ran over to M3 to share his lollypop with him.  Here Marcel shared a piece of his heart with Kellen listening to every single word his daddy is telling him...the only daddy he has ever known. I love the intensity in Kellen's eyes and mouth...I asked Marcel afterwards what he told Kellen on which he said 'i told him that dreams come true!' On which Kellen replied: 'Yes, i know..but can we get back to the lollie!'
 
M3 just got off the plane from the UK this specific August morning.  It's the second time he saw Kellen, the first was when he met us.  Marcel laid down to sleep and Kellen went to snuggle up to him, not yet ready to share a blanket, but right there beside his daddy...heart to heart. 

L.O.V.E  pure, honest, from the heart loving...

One Saturday i went out with some friends and Kellen stayed home with his daddy.  I came home to a very happy little boy who was potty training and drawing!! How amazing! The daddy? He was there..soooo laidback, calm, relaxed, drawing...he said he thought Kellen should try new ways of drawing...teehee. 

Today, on this very first 'father's day' we painted. Daddy was the 'painting'...teehee...we stayed in our pj's the whole day, ate whatever we felt like and daddy watched cricket...while painting..and playing and loving his son.  It's moments like these in the photo, that I treasure...the overflowing love for his son is within his closed eyes...the soft kiss on his ear...in every little and big way he interacts with his son. He is such an amazing daddy. 
I have to quote Rebekah on this..
The best part, hands down, of being a mom...is watching Marcel be a dad.

Friday, 12 June 2009

all heart*

About a year ago my brother went to show us where he is going to open his business.  It was this huge open space, kind of a store, and we walked in with imaginations of how it is going to look.  He is living his dream today...

While we were walking from the one side of this big empty space, to the other side, I saw this very delicate spiderweb hanging from a beam..and right at the bottom it was shaped like a little heart. 

I took this photo over a year and half ago...and tonight, my life feels like this.  In a good way.  

This past year...
  1. we lived in a different country for 2 years....interesting = preparation
  2. within a week, without being on a waiting list, accepting our 'fate' as to not being able to have children, somebody phoned us on the Monday, the next Monday they met us and on the Tuesday they signed the most adorable little boy over to us....unreal
  3. we came back to our birth country to fetch our son and decided to stay, not even going back to get our belongings..we did everything over the phone....fantastic! 
  4. we were first time parents....crazy! 
  5. we lived with family for 8 months....super crazy but fabulous! 
  6. we moved back into our house that we rented out for 2 years...absolute perfection
  7. I went back to my own business....drama
  8. went through a crazy time now with the poor economy and our business, that I thought was in trouble, is just going through a difficult period....realisation
  9. I had to protect myself...with lawyers....terrible...unreal!
  10. learning in depth what 'emotional intelligence' means...scary :-) 
  11. learning so much about myself....head on...so hard!  
  12. through all this,  there is this cute little boy who calls me mama...and my heart crumbles and nothing else matters...
  13. the 3 of us...inseparable
  14. life happens - gratitude and absolute amazement! 
These last few weeks were so hard...I told my husband 4 nights ago I don't feel equipped to manage a business going through a difficult time.  It feels as if the staff are blaming me (and I just started working again on the 1st of June)...he just laughed and said but you have been doing it for 4 years before we left for the UK...

Looking at the photo...teehee...just had an interesting conversation with my husband about it...it feels as if i've been 'stretched thinly'...teehee...then he said what he sees is that our happiness depends on me being thinly stretched....(maybe i need to make time to breath)...but no, that is not it at all. 

Looking at the photo: 
at the top is life with all it aspects...
then it is the thin line...which represents that my heart and soul are very delicate right now, having to do and say and protect myself and my business from a financial point of view...and i'm so not the money person! :-) but i'm chancing that...'i love money. money is important.  i have to pay myself first. everything comes to me easily and comfortably. Mantras...yummy! Calming me down in an instant! :-) 

then you see the BIG full beautiful, gorgeous amazing heart at the bottom...which represents to me the 3 of us...in this moment...with all the other things strung on the thin long line, life is absolute perfection.  My love for my husband and our little boy stretched way beyond any thing possible to describe....so big and wide and open and literally is my life. Us are my life. Love is my mantra. Everything else is just extras.  

The other night I came across this passage which sums up life for me...thinking in terms of my family, being a mommy, a wife, a business woman...and all the other things as well...love is all there is. 

When you work with love you draw others to you. Embrace this truth.  The reason for this is that love is the highest vibration on earth.  When you work with love people feel it, are helped by it and return to it. It’s a positive vibration that draws people naturally into its sphere.  Those who love what they do reveal that love through their work, and others are drawn towards their energy.  Because love is so attractive, it pulls to you what you need.   Just let your honesty and integrity shine and be a blessing.- Nick Williams -

Love is life xx

What sentence describes life for you? 

Friday, 5 June 2009

Wreck this journal*


I'm listening to the rain dancing on the roof...
coming here to get my weekly dash of inspiration from all your beautiful souls out there...
dancing with life. 
By accident I stumbled upon Jamie's blog and I have the book she is going to discuss...yay! I've decided to join them in the wrecking of their journals...heehee....it is actually quite fun! Especially if you love books! 
As you can see from the photo...I've started....my book smell of Marmite...heehee...and I'm washing off my own beliefs of what if's and how and where and why not? I'm wrecking this in a good way, including real life as I'm experiencing major challenges and dreams coming true at this very minute. Join us! Play along! Heehee! :-) 

* to add...i left my book out in the rain...heehee...my husband came running in saying our son left his books outside....the book is still wet...i'm trying to (with so much love!) dry the pages in front of the heater...i pick the book up..and feel as if i want to put the book close to my heart...and comfort it....having permission to 'wreck' this journal is quite liberating xx