The surest way to start fresh and move forward is to be at peace with what came before. You might have had an incredible year, a dull year, or a truly difficult year. Whatever happened, your aim is to celebrate what there is to celebrate about it and grieve what there is to grieve...
My challenge for you is to answer the following questions and declare 2009 complete. Rituals can be even more powerful when others can witness you. You are welcome to do this exercise privately, but I suggest sharing with a friend and/or posting your lists here. You are in good, safe company. (Feel free to post anonymously)
1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2009?
In 2009 I bought shares from my ex partner, knowing in how much trouble the business was. I faced closing the business, retrenching staff members, bringing the high standard that I had back into the business with courage and strength. I promised myself that the business will not close down. I promised that I will pay back all the money the business owed before I took over, before Christmas. I was brave to take something so negative and in deep trouble to turn it around. My brave choice that I made was not to retrenched any staff members, through not taking a salary for 6 months. I am proud of myself, I am proud that I kept my head up high when I thought I'm going down, I'm proud that I turned the business around, I'm proud that I paid all the debt back and I'm proud that the clients told me that I put the 'magic' back into the business, it's not 'just another business', 'it is a magical business'.
2. What is there to grieve about 2009?
I was extremely scared to buy the shares and to try to turn the business around knowing in how much trouble the business was. It was hard to try and balance work and family and being a mom and wife. I failed dismally and I grieve about that for 2009. It was hard to balance my professional and private life. I forgive myself for not being a present mom to Kellen. I forgive myself for not being a wife to M3 during the last 6 months.
I grieve the death of my beautiful mother. It was hard to watch her die. For 5 days I sat next to her bed, watched her chest go up and down as the machines was breathing for her, wishing I could make eye contact with her one more time to tell her how much I love her. I hold her hand, I rubbed her feet and talked to her all the time. The most difficult part for me was to leave at night knowing she is quickly slipping away, and that there is nothing I can do to make it better. I forgive myself for being so hard on myself. I forgive myself for not wanting her to go. I love you Moederlief.
3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?
"I declare 2009 complete!" I feel relieved. I've waited another 3 weeks just to write this.
"2009 is my year of balance, it is my year of having more fun! and being really present!"
6 comments:
:-) love to you, xo
I may need another three weeks to be sure! (((hugs))) to you my brave, beautiful friend...
:-)
love,
me
peace to you as you grieve the loss of your mom. May you be blessed in al that you do in this wonderful life that God has given you and your family. It is hard as I lost my dad last year and especially in those last few days. May He comfort you with your memories of her.
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What an amazing thing you did. I know some of the difficulties you went through, and you came out the other side of 2009 shining so beautifully.
And no matter what you tell yourself Linni, you are an AMAZING mom. No question.
Much love xoxoxo
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