'Beginner's mind.
Open mind.
Open heart.
See the world, your life and your work with wonder and awe.
Breathe deeply into your body,
your lungs
your internal organs
The oxygen is giving you fuel.
It's bathing the body with energy.
What more could you possibly desire?"
from Writing begins with the breath by Laraine Herring
About a month ago I went for shiatsu with a new practitioner I don't know. I felt unsure not knowing him, and opening my heart to whatever there was to work with. He was gentle, kind and soft-hearted.
Whenever I feel unsure, my neck turns red with spots on...this is something I want to let go off....the uncertainty when I actually know in my heart I'm enough...
Yesterday I read about Terri's silent retreat.....last night I read about Christianne's 'listen to the quiet'.
I also read the journey Megg is having with her body.
After the shiatsu session Charlie asked me if he could ask me THE question...on which I just laughed (defence) and ask but what is the question. He asked: "is there a part of your body that you don't like?" I just replied (with a smile): yes, but don't we all not like a part of ourselves? And why would he ask that?
He said: "your energies are divided. you are not centered".
I just smiled (wanted to burst out in tears) and said maybe I'm 'coming back', because a year back just before we moved to England I went for my usual shiatsu back home, my practitioner was upset for days because he could not feel/sense any of my energy anywhere in my body. (that was my way of shutting down to prepare me for the move and change...)
Charlie gave me homework....
- breathing exercises... breathing in deeply through my nose, and out through my mouth focussing on the centre point where my breaths centre,
- walking on pebbles (which will open my heart)
- looking in the mirror, telling myself how much I love me
- sitting in silence...
I told Charlie that it is good - I'll do it. Just 10 minutes every day, for I really want to let go of whatever there is to let go of. I said: 'I just want to be free'. He replied with a smile: "but you already are".
I ponder and re-think and wonder about things happening in my life - especially in my heart...and don't always write about it as that makes it really real for me. It's been more than a month now, and Charlie' words are talking to me, together with these beautiful writings on being silent...I want to say 'it is time'...I have said that before. Maybe I just take longer to realise what all this means for me.
I have not either done any of these exercises... I will start... and then just let it go to go do something else... to just sit and breath with concentration can be quite difficult?
Being on holiday is great... I just went for a 90 minute 'Life Spa Ritual Massage', which is 'inspired by generations of healing traditions, this holistic treatment is a rhythmic blend of Balinese, Thai, Hawaiian Iomi Iomi and Shiatsu Massage that stiumlates energy flow by increasing blood circulation'.
I want to be still.
I want to center my breathing.
I want to love myself... all of it.
I want to be centered.
It is time. I am listening. xx
14 comments:
i wish the quiet and centering for you. so glad my words could bring you back to this memory and hope for your next step in this direction. love to you . . .
What powerful words: "but you already are"
You speak with such compassion about the desire for healing and wholeness, to be connected and not divided, and also the knowing that these things cannot be forced, willed. It is that moment of amusement when I realize I'm judging myself for not being grounded, doing my practice, connected, and yet judgment will get me nowhere.
May you go gently, know you are already enough.
It's always time to begin.
I honor the beginnings in you.
Trust yourself, and be gentle with yourself. You will do these things when you feel ready.
It's funny how difficult just being still can be, isn't it? I remember my yoga instructor telling us that the corpse pose is known to be one of the most difficult...and all you have to do is lie there on your back and relax and breathe!
Much love xo
honey your words are always so inspiring. what you write stirs something inside me, wanting to be more of myself. i want to honour you for being so open, so willing to be with whatever is happening, your amazingly beautiful and loving nature. all these things and more i love about you.
i can't wait to see you again my friend and give you the biggest hug
thanks for always writing from your heart. it encourages and inspires me to live my best life.
Writing does make it real, doesn't it. I wish you luck and success on the road you are traveling. I think you are farther along than you might realize. Beautiful post!
i so much appreciate your honesty and openness and hunger for life. you amaze me. peace, little sister.
wow. if anyone can gain that peace and centeredness i believe it is you. be gentle dear little bird.
xoxo
There it is, mi Amor...
"It is time. I am listening."
You have it all within your hands, within your heart to be whole.
This has brought such sunshine to my day - *sigh
:-)
Love you!
(((HUGS))),
Me
Once again, beautiful words from you my dear.
It is time.
XOXO
Jaclyn
You have only to be still.
Find silence.
Walk with rest.
Raise your eyebrows at the mirror and make a funny face.
Touch the fountain and feel the water flowing around your fingers.
In and out.
Lovely post and it also spoke to what I need. So I am going to focus on my breath all day. I love the quote in the beginning. I send you much light on/ for your continuing journey.
This is such a gorgeous, truthful post Linni...
I can't wait to here what you discover...
xoxo
beautiful, beautiful!!
In two weeks we can walk on pebbles together by the sea and you can help me open my own heart!
xo
i love that photo and i can so understand what you write about now. xoxo
Post a Comment