We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance. (Harrison Ford)
Watching how Kellen falls asleep at night is the highlight of my day. Not because he is going to sleep (heehee! that too!) but the way he falls asleep...the little things he do...first he will jump on the bed out of excitement! (yes, that is all it is...total excitement! heehee...i know)
We lay down, to take off his pajama pants and his slippers.
He choose a story book...at this time still the same story every night...I feel like Otto the dog (the story's main character).
After reading the same page where the phone goes 'trieng-trieng' he put the book aside.
Time to give a sip of milk and a kiss and a hug to Lion, Donkey, Dog and Giraffe - after which they get 'thrown' aside.
Laying down...time for M3 and I to sing Barney (our newest friend on the block! M3 is singing all the songs around the house)...I love you...
Kellen takes our head and put it together so that we kiss each other, and on the following verse he will push his head between ours so that we can kiss him on his cheeks at the exact same moment. (so special!)
Now it is time to tickle his legs and his cheeks...and his hand...depending on where he want to be touched...I treasure this time...
Nearly asleep he will take his blanket, fold it against his tummy...and just before he fall asleep, his lips moves as if sucking on a bottle...(I adore this!)
He will open his chest and put his hands next to his head, with his little hands open facing upwards...and then it is off to dreamland!
Watching him tonight, I realised how lucky we are. His birthmom phoned again last night, which leave an unsettling feeling in my tummy. Although she don't have any maternal rights any more, it does not change that she wants to be involved.
With all of this in mind, I was wondering how and how much and when and if....through it all trusting God. Last night I thought that He actually went and gave us the most beautiful little boy there is on earth to adopt - how lucky are we.
It feels like a second chance. Our first chance was to try for ourselves. This time round there is a little big boy who is learning so many new things every waking moment. This little boy adores his daddy! (I LOVE it when he looks and plays with M3 - the way he looks at him...and smiles at him...my heart crumbles!)
We (I) get swept away by the amazing and overpowering feelings of love for this little boy. Life feels as if he was with us from his birth...as if this is how our lives have been the past 20 months....until his birthmom phone...which brings me back to reality in a second...and I realise/think/feel...we are so lucky to have been chosen to raise this gorgeous little boy.
This is our big chance. xx
12 comments:
This is so beautiful! I love how much you love him, and how much you love M3 and this new change in that family of yours. And what freedom, to know we get second chances, sometimes when we're not expecting them!
lin, that is beautiful. reading your words stirred an emotion inside me i cannot even begin to describe. life works in mysterious ways, and ultimately we have to trust it guides us to exactly where we need to be. your post proves that. xx
oh honey, i read this and tears well up in my eyes, good happy beautiful tears. i can see and feel it all and am so happy for you, so very happy .. much love, xo
this is so wonderful!! My heart is exploding for you right now! I can not imagine your joy. Or maybe I can.
I hope that by this time next year our sweet baby will be chosen for us.
xoxo
I'm sorry for the nervousness with her phone calls. I understand...
Nie net het Vader vir julle 'n spesiale seuntjie uitgekies nie, maar het Hy ook vir hom 'n spesiale ouerpaar uitgekies! Geniet hom!!
Linni...Linni...I love how you know how blessed you are to have this second chance...
And I'm smiling at the beautiful memories that you are all creating as a family...
xoxo
Just came by to say I love you all,
The three of you are in my prayers,
You are the best parents around,
Love and joy, M
I already told you how touched I was to read this and want to say it again :) He's a little ray of sunshine and I can't wait to meet him. That photo of him is just darling ~ off on an adventure. I recognise that stance, one step at a time, full of wonder. Big hug xx
so much love! so much giving! that is such a sweet, sweet description of your families' nigh time ritual :) his little legs running on the beach are perfect!
I'm sorry to have been away so long... please know you are in my heart daily as I envision you so full of love and loving... such a beautiful friend sister mother... such a beautiful gift you are to us all linni... such a beautiful gift.
xoxo
Could there be anything more beautiful than the love for a child?
You express this love so freely, so beautifully. I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!
Love you!
J
Lin this is so gorgeous as everyone has already said. Your love for this little boy is so strong because I believe he was made for you even if he didn't come through you. I will hold you all in my prayers, I am sorry that the phone call had to come and I am sorry that she can make you so nervous, I don't blame you for an instant I can't imagine having to live with that fear in the back of your mind. You are so brave and such a true spirit and your darling little boy is so very lucky to have a mummy like you. Take care sweet heart, hugs Jen xxx
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