The past few weeks I've been thinking often about our life...my life...and the life of our son. It has been busy, crazy busy. A year ago I was thinking about what to do with my life, where am I going to, I had so much time on my hands. Today, I won't change places with anybody in the world - I want to be right here, in my bed, beside my amazing husband...:-) giggle*...waking up with our little boy in between us! giggle* (I can just hear the advice/disapprovement of some.... smiling eyes*) I've been thinking and reading often about Rebekah's journey to becoming the mommy of Ty...and Denise's journey to her son Cedar...thinking about tiny, little babies...how different their journey must be compared to mine who became a mommy of an 'instant' 18 month old...whom is now 29 month's old. In a little bit over a month, Kellen will be living with us for a year...the thoughts and feelings around this benchmark is enormous, and even though it feels so enormously big, it is
just ..
pure
honest
wordless
love.
Heart -to-heart,
connected,
no words,
too many thoughts.
just,
pure
honest
love.
This last week things have changed...Kellen is much more cuddly and snuggles up to me all the time. When it is bedtime, he wants me to stay with him to cuddle...to whisper 'I love you's where as the past few months he fell asleep on his own...he started brushing my cheek with his...and will stare into my eyes with such love...it feels as if he totally gets what I'm feeling. He has this new thing - 'mama - hou maag vas' which means 'mama, put your arm around my tummy, hold me'. Sometimes he will lie facing me, placing his hands on my cheeks, brushing up and down...smiling at me...falling asleep....opening his eyes quickly..just to make sure he is still looking into my eyes'..teehee...i adore this little boy...
Maybe it is because nothing else matters. When he looks into my eyes, the world can come to an end, he is all that matters at that precise moment. 'Living in the moment' has new meaning to me...Kellen is currently sleeping next to me in the bed. We had dinner with my brother and sister-in-law and he wanted to fall asleep in our bed...in this moment it is the best place on earth. Right here, nestled underneath his mommy's wing...legs right against mine...cheek against my arm...his warm breath flowing into my heart with every breath...
Thinking of Denise now who wrote about mushy mommy brain when you get a baby...it happens when you get any age baby...I have random thoughts, all pure love for this little man who is right now moving over to his daddy, cuddling with him..it is only love. Looking at M3, the love he has for our little boy...M A G I C A L !
I believe in magic...
and angels...
HOPE is everywhere...
in our hearts...
In the miracle that is he.
He has a way that he pouts his mouth when he sleeps...
no words...
just
this overwhelming
feeling
of
pure
love xx
3 comments:
That is exactly how it is to be mommy--so wonderful, yes? The happiness I feel for you three is beyond belief, the magic I feel FROM you three is humbly and worth so much...
:-)
(((HUGS))) to all three of you, just cuddly, loving (((HUGS)))!
this reminded me so much of when my oldest boy was a baby (he has a little boy of his own now)...especially when you talked about him brushing your cheek. those were my favorite moments. i'm so happy for you linni. what a gift to this little boy..you're just as big a gift to him as he is to you.
I am a single Mom with three kids. Most days lately, I am simply looking to survive as there are three of them and only one of me. As I read your post, I started to cry because I was reminded of the beauty and the joy and the pureness of heart that my children bring to my life. I was reminded of the unconditional love I hold in my heart for each of them. Perhaps tomorrow morning won't seem quite so hectic now that I have been reminded to live in the moment. Thank you.
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