Saturday, 1 December 2007

Early Xmas...


Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry 'early' Xmas!!!
We had an early Xmas last night with my family returning to Canada and South Africa today!
It felt like Xmas....
Celebrations were held in a feast of food....
Carefully hand-picked presents for each of us...
laughter!!!!
sweet memories!!!
Many photographs!!!
And overflowing with LOVE!
I so love my family!
My strong and silent Big Dad...
My funny and loving mommy...
My small-big hearted 'little' brother....
My inspiring sister-in-law...
My angel husband....
and I missed my sweet little sis...her husband and their little rascal!
I soooo love my family!
Merry 'early' Xmas!!!

frida...


Tuesday, 27 November 2007

Life is out there...

Dragonfruit from Vietnam

This magical beauty wrote yesterday about M A G I C ! And this gorgeous jewel wrote about 'choosing' J O Y ! These past few days I was wondering what? where? how? should I or not? Am I? Will I one day be? Questions...questions and questions...with no answers...then I read Mccabe's post about magic and it felt as if life was returning to every vessel of my body!

I've always choose to do something for someone...I LUVVVV it! It makes me appreciate life...and people...and when doing something for someone else, I love myself more.

I told my sister-in-law about my blog and in the same sentence of being lonely with no friends here. I also abrutly stopped doing anything for anybody as my family and some friends were always telling me how mad I was for going in such extremes of doing things for people I don't even know (which I love...and it's not BIG things...small...just to let you know things. They also said that I tend to do too much...and everybody don't like it? sigh...anyway, i've tried to change that, and with changing that...lock myself up in my home...reading blogs! :-) which is great! but not balanced? or contact with the outside world...) it just blows my mind...I've just realised that that is who I am. That is what makes me alive and happy....I should do what comes naturally to me and keep on being who I know I am!

anyway, my sister-in-law replied with a bright and happy smile...no more loneliness..you just write everything on your blog! And I hear her voice in the back of my head...all the time...so Liz, thank you!

After I've read Mccabe's invitation (you all have to read it!!!) I remembered all the little things I use to do for people...and I came back! Standing up from the past 9 months...and I cannot wait to start doing it! Oh...doing the magic...spreading the joy! For anyone...with anyone....which ever way I feel comfortable with! I'm so excited! Starting tonight with my brother and his wife.....sprinkling little hearts of magic into their bed...without them knowing...cannot wait...(then fear: my brother will say something negative!...but I don't care...my sister-in-law will love it!)

Choosing joy? Difficult? Sometimes very difficult. You want to choose the joy with everything in you, but it feels as if you get lost on your way to joy!? But these past 2 days was fantastic! It felt as if I was floating on a cloud...with all the imaginations of magic all around me...I'm smiling from ear to ear just thinking what the people's reaction are going to be...tonight I love life! I love magic! I love all of you reading...and even those who are not! Tonight...I love myself extremely much!!! And I have realised that there is a life out there...missing me!


Sunday, 25 November 2007

Will you marry me...

My parents are celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary with us in the UK from Canada. My dad flew my brother and my fabulous sister-in-law in from Cape Town, South Africa to surprise my mom, and above all this, he bought her 'another' wedding and engagement ring as hers has been stolen...and today he went down on one knee and ask her if she would marry him again...
My parents have had their ups and downs of life as any other couple...my dad supported my mom through 5 years of cancer, (and she's been healthy and 'alive' for 10 years now - hoorah!)...my mom supported my dad when he moved to Canada at the age of 58....and like any couple, raising 3 children (which are adults now)...is a tough and loving job.
We believe we have the most amazing and loving parents in the world...and today I want to honor them...but the sentence that I mostly treasure today is what my dad wrote in the card to my mom..."If I were to live my life over, I would marry you again".
1 Corinthians 13:13:
and now abide faith, hope, love, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.
my fantastic mom & dad
the newly 'engaged' couple...

my dad was so proud...

my mom 'fishing' for her ring...

my dad getting down on his knee asking my mom
to marry him again...

35th Wedding Anniversary

my mom, Daffie Duck (short for Daphne) and my dad,
Big Dad
My parents are celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary today with us in England!

We celebrate their LOVE! PATIENCE! HUMOR! We celebrate them!


Tuesday, 20 November 2007

b r e a t h

Breathing in.....breathing out.....

Monday, 19 November 2007

Healing love...

Let's all send healing love to this gorgeous woman...
HEALING
Created by Darina S. Oct. 4, 2005

Healing is an amazing journey
Cure is a desired destination
Remissions are the craved vacations
Symptoms are the warning signs

Pain is an incredible teacher
Suffering is an option indeed
Hope is a needed companion
Faith is a great friend in need

Apathy is a doorway to depression
Anxiety is a forerunner to stress
Emptiness is a whisper for wholeness
Resistance is a call for acceptance

Frustration is a mask for anger
Denial is avoidance of honesty
Silence is indigestion of feelings
Numbness is intolerence for thoughts

Disease is a pure self-punishment
Self-pity is a hidden lack of self-love
Distress is a result of high expectations
Confusion is a sign of endless judgments

Courage is a risk worth taking
Intuition is a gift worth following
Forgiveness is the means to inner bliss
Gratitude is the beginning of wisdom

Openness is changing a victim mindset
Flexibility is trying over and over again
Strength is overcoming the fears and doubts
Growth is learning from the pains with joy

Health is a relative term and goal
Healing is a never-ending process
Wellness is the reward of the journey
Wellbeing is the experience of peace

Patience is a reliable test
Will is a powerful measure
Trust is never the question
Love is the ultimate answer

Sunday, 11 November 2007

Silence

My family left this afternoon @ 2pm. It was a time of absolute abundance with many stories to be told, memories to bring up and love all weekend long! I felt spoilt. This morning my best friend, A and her husband A came along for breakfast and I felt as if I was flying above all the clouds...being spoilt with having people who love me just for who I am, and who I love, around me!

Then tonight, when the house was cleaned and all the evidence of family and loved ones packed away...in came the silence...and the mind starts jumping....like skipping with a rope, but getting your feet caught inbetween the rope with every jump. It's as if the whole world close down on you and it's only you and your mind...this is a place I don't like. In here I feel scared and lonely...I sent my friend a message telling her how I felt and she just replied with...'you ARE enough'...which opened the world again...but I find it difficult to be who I want to be every day.

I wonder in times like tonight why I'm scared to alone with myself - I use to love it. Think it has something to do with allowing the universe to talk and me receiving whatever it is giving to me..

I came across this website tonight which started 'stirring the mind'. At first it was all positive and energized emotion because I sometimes think this is what I want to do...then I think of my best friend and husband who would never in a million years do it...then I wonder am I suppose to 'not do it'...will I be able to do it is someone phone me now and say pls join us? Then I wonder what am I suppose to do!!! I think of this amazing brave women who are doing it and not waiting (like me) for 'things to happen'. I wonder so many times what made her decide to go, how did she pack up and left for Afghanistan and then I wonder what traits do you as a human being have to have to be able to work in extremely difficult conditions.

I think I'll just go and sit with 'silence' for a while...maybe if I sit long enough, and listen I'll receive an answer...good night!

xox


Saturday, 10 November 2007

Family

my little sis, Sue, my dad - Big Dad, me &
my brother, William

me & my very courage mom, Daphne

my fabulous father-in-law, Dan, my hubbie M3,
lovely mom-in-law, Marion & Super Sister in law, Angel

me, my brother, William, Morgan & my sis Sue
(photo taken on Williams' wedding January 2007)
Sebastian
Mala

Gordon
My aunt, Truida and her husband, Heinz, are visiting me this weekend! While making breakfast this morning I just got the urge to show you all my 'family'. This is not yet everybody, but will post the others a bit later...(time limited today). I think I will take each of them and discuss their place in my life and what they mean to me...for today I will talk about Gordon, Mala & Sebastian..our dogs alias our children! M3 and I've been struggling for 7years to get pregnant...(not yet our time). After the 3rd ICSI (implant) we went to get some groceries and this little face above was there...I still told M3 we buy whichever puppy there is and take him/her home. Gordon was the lucky one (or we were the lucky ones?). He has filled a need and place in our lives which is difficult to explain...and there they are...our 3 beautiful dogs...each with their own personality.
Have to run..but will be back! Taking my family to an Art Festival in Winchester. Yummie!

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Whispers...

"Did you know that whenever you whisper, "I'm sorry..." to someone quietly in your mind, someone over here sheds a tear and healing begins?

Did you know that whenever you whisper, "Can I help you..." to someone quietly in your mind, someone over here sheds a tear and an army of angels are sent?

And, did you know that whenever you whisper, "I love you..." to someone quietly in your mind, someone over here sheds a tear, healing begins, an army of angels are sent, and 10,000 bells are rung?

Actually, you even have your own marching band that follows you everywhere....

I love you,
The Universe"

I received this message just now from the UNIVERSE!

I've been surrounded by my own marching band today...and I only realised it now!

Tuesday, 6 November 2007

Sun shining through...



My sweet husband just got on a plane for Kuala Lumpur...I'm missing him already...

I thought I'd get up early (6am...no children....late sleepers!:-), to take some more photographs of the sun shining through the trees...but there is no sun today...just dark clouds...and the wind blowing through the trees...so here I am...thinking about the sun shining through each of us...??


Why are we scared to let our gaurd down and the sun out?

Why do we try to be perfect?


Since we've moved countries I've been "holding it all together" so that everybody thinks the sun is shining through..where in the meantime I'm missing EVERYTHING of my life back home...then I ask myself the question? Do I have the courage to change? And looking back on the past 8 months I would say absolutely YES!...but I'm not letting the sun through out of fear that I might not shine that bright.


Aha! I know what I must do? EMBRACE. Embrace every aspect of the change, of me, of my feelings, of the country...I have to embrace myself...and just let the sun shine!
Are you letting the sun through?



Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a womanPhenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.

I say,It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.

I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a womanPhenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.

I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,'
Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

-Maya Angelou-

Monday, 29 October 2007

Kindred Spirits

"You're the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too & we decided we'd know each other a long time "
This is how I feel about all the soulful people I've met through the blogs...and they don't even know that I exist. One of my rituels is to sit down with a warm cup of tea and listen/read/laugh about what is happening/going on in their lives...I want to acknowledge Andrea, Bohogirl, Frida, Thea, Jen Gray, Dancing Mermaid, TangledWings and many more....you have hugged me, loved me, believed in me, made me believe in myself when I was all alone...love you!

Sunday, 28 October 2007

Phenomenal Women!




ANE...wife....daughter...companion...woman...soulmate...friend....sister...angel











DAPHNE...fighter...funny lady...mother....cancer survivor...grandmother....wife...mother...inspiration...believer...angel...





BETH...artist....daughter...friend...angel....believer....young woman....spirited...godchild...



ELNETTE...mother...fairy-godmother....anerma...strong...artist...bold...exceptional...friend...angel...woman!

Half term

Half term is over...another season....clocks turning back...friends being sad facing all the new changes in their life...life standing still for us in one week of doing nothing...sleeping/embracing and loving...

Yellow....for sunshine! Friendship! Love! Happiness!!!

For all things coming...family! 35th wedding anniversaries!! Working with children!!! Friendships with people you have not met...but having a profound influence in your life! for friends that are in your life now, here. Yellow for friends who gave you the feeling of 'bliss' when they were here...

Yellow is also for everything new..new job! New people! new areas in your life that you are exploring on your own...or with God.

Yellow is for phenomenal women! & men!

I am Yellow!

Friday, 5 October 2007

Change...


"It is in change that we find purpose"

Wednesday, 3 October 2007

Gratitude


May you stand rapt in awe at the perfection and magnificence of this universe.

Tuesday, 2 October 2007

Change...

This is the entrance to our village. Colorful. Absolute beauty and so many change...but I have come to realise that change is good...in which ever it comes...are you open for change? Do you embrace change with your whole heart? What 'changes' does change bring into your life?

Sunday, 30 September 2007

Love is all around...



"Painting is just another way of keeping a diary"
(Pablo Picasso)
And if I were to read anything into this painting it would be something like...LOVE!
I'm sitting taking deep breaths only because I was so scared to do this. I've been trying to get myself to do what I want to do for years, but all the fear, rejection, absent self-love, 'what would others think'...were much stronger than it does not care...it's just about creating.
We moved countries 6 months ago - different weather, culture, people, living conditions, work conditions...everything change...and I have realised that I do not adapt well to change. (even though I would love to live a few months in every country on our planet...just for the experience!)
Then yesterday I realised that in 6 months 2007 will be history and I was asking myself the question 'what did I/we accomplish this year?' A very easy answer...we moved countries. But for me that was not the answer I was looking for me, eventhough that would have been enough for others...And today some of the thoughts in my head was....I've done my first painting! I don't worry what others think of me, my paintings, my work, my being...as long as I know in my heart that I have given my best...and I have made a difference in someone else's day...I realised today that I'm content with being by myself, and it is ok not to talk to your friends every single day (that is why I started this blog...in search of friends...)I've also realised that it' ok to have time for yourself, to discover what makes you tick/happy/fabulous/alive!
I love where I'm now. I love spending so much time with my hubbie. I just luvvvv sitting at my gorgeous desk (full of butterflies/flowers/ladybugs), writing! I love writing! I love playing around with words...and I love painting. I don't think I would ever become a 'painter/artist'...etc...but I've realised that everyone of us are an artist in our own way. We only have to be true to ourselves...LOVE ourselves (big one!) and do things that inspire us to be the best 'me' you can be.
Getting back to my first painting...the sentence dancing around in my head...is...love is all around...
What sentence will be dancing in your head after you have done something you wanted to do for soooo long?

Friday, 28 September 2007

Magic...

I was driving around taking photographs....wondering what life is all about...I drove passed a green field and saw the horses playing. I stopped...walked closer and this "beauty" came to play...when seeing the photo...I was thinking...magic...everywhere...you just have to see it!